Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
We’ve been having some discipline troubles with Bug lately. I’ve been wanting to beat the child silly. She doesn’t listen, she’s deviant, she’s 5. Such is life.
I’ve been to the child forums for advice, and the results were discouraging....
* “Put her in time out.” Yeah, that’s what we do now. It doesn’t phase her. The only thing is does is make BK stick his nose in another corner, because he wants to be just like his sister.
*“Take something away that she likes, like Barbies or video games.” Ummm, that won’t work. The only thing she really likes is art, particularly drawing. I have taken her art supplies away before, but it seems a shame to do it. I mean, I know I’m her mom and I'm biased, but she’s pretty dang talented. She draws a whole lot better than I do.
*“Use a reward chart.” We’ve done this before, with mixed results. I think my prizes weren’t good enough, because she got to the point where she wasn’t even reminding me to give her the reward.
But I do believe in rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior, so here’s what I decided to do. I’m pretty proud of it, if I do say so myself. I made this chart:
Let me explain it just a bit.There are two sides: one for good behavior, and one for bad behavior. If she does something good, something that goes above and beyond, she gets a star. I’m not talking about “oh, goody, you brushed your teeth.” No, that’s stuff you’re supposed to do. I’m talking about getting up in the morning and getting ready without being told, or cleaning up your toys after you're done with them each night, or playing nicely with your brother. Stuff like that. If I think she’s really making an effort to do something, she’ll get a star. 5 stars gets a treat from the present bag: a box of crayons, bubbles, little stuff like that. If she gets 10 stars in a week, we’ll get McDonald’s in the morning on Friday. And if she’s a superstar and gets 15 stars in a week, we’ll spend the day at the park (I may have to rethink this. It might take all summer to get to the park!)
On the other side, there’s naughty stuff: getting caught telling a lie, fighting with BK, having to be told to do something more that twice. Any of these infractions will get an X. If she gets 2 X’s in a day, then she gets no dessert that night. 3 X’s in a day takes away her Friday night movie privileges (and Saturday night, if she’s naughty another night in the same week). 4 X’s in a day means she gets her art supplies taken away for 24 hours, and 5 X’s means she has to go straight to bed (I suspect it would only be possible for her to get 5 X’s on a weekend-- we’re just not home enough to get 5 X’s on a weeknight)
Does this make sense? I thought it was a way to reward really good choices and punish not so stellar choices, without being too specific. She just started it on this Sunday, so I can’t tell you how it’s working yet, but I will update you with the progress in a couple weeks. The chart is my prototype, I may change it at the end of 9 weeks, depending on how successful we are.
Let me know if you’ve ever tried this with your little one, or if you decide to try out now for the first time!
More 30 days of me:
Day Five
Day Six
Day Seven
Day Eight
I've been meaning to make a responsibility chart that will allow Reese to earn a new bike (she desperately wants), but I like adding on the X's for bad behavior - we've had a LOT of sass that I need to get under control.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the idea!
it sounds like a good idea. it also sounds a little complicated. but mine is younger so I have no idea.
ReplyDeleteOOOOH, reward chart. So organized! If I were a mom, I know I'd be totally into that.
ReplyDeleteWe tried this with Yaya and she really liked going over it at the end of the day and either putting a check or a smiley face. It also made her feel more responsible for actions somehow. When we stopped it she asked us to bring it back.
ReplyDeleteHmmm after the last couple reports from her teachers, maybe it's time to get back in the routine.
I think that sounds like a great plan. I hope it works with her. She definitely sounds like the creative type and I really think creative kids are harder to discipline.
ReplyDelete