30 days of me

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

I have many bad habits.

Every time I set down a knife-- I mean EVERY TIME-- I set it down with the blade up, like this:

I don’t even know how I do this. It’s not like I do it on purpose. It just happens.

I abuse my fingernails to no end. I don’t chew on them, but I pick at them. Pick, pick, pick.

These are my hands:




Look at my gross nails. Try to ignore my old lady hands.

But I think my worse habit is my love affair with my scale.

I weigh myself twice a day, everyday. The first weigh-in is when I first wake up. I go to the bathroom, turn on the shower, and step on the scale while I’m waiting for the water to get hot. If it’s less than the day before, I am satisfied. If it is more than the day before, I fall into a deep depression. My day is shot before it even begins.

My second weigh-in is the last thing I do before I go to bed. I get undressed, and then step on the scale. I usually weigh roughly two pounds more than I do in the morning. If there’s less than a 2 pound gain, I call the day a success. If it’s more than two pounds, I declare myself a fat ass and make the Agent turn off the lights so he can’t see my fat rolls.

Don’t act surprised. I think I’ve already made it clear in the past that I have issues.

I wish I wasn’t this way. Don’t you think I wish that? I wish the scale didn’t define me. I wish I was comfortable in my own skin. I wish I could look in the mirror and see a beautiful woman.

But, more than anything, I wish I could lose 20 more pounds.

More 30 days of me: 

Day One

Day Two 

Day Three