Our school had parent teacher conferences this week, since this is the last week before the two week long Spring Break.
Bug had gotten a note home, saying she was above her grade level in all subjects, and there were no behavioral problems, so a conference was not required. Sweet!
I was not that lucky with BK. I was informed that my appointment was Tuesday at 4:30.
The next afternoon, I received an email from BK's teacher, "I want to make sure that the time works for both you AND your husband," she wrote.
Ugh. BOTH of us? That's unpleasant.
So, we showed up on Tuesday with BK, expecting the worse. But it actually turned out ok. He's doing well academically, and he is doing better behaviorally. Thank goodness! Now we can relax and enjoy the next two weeks off for Spring Break.
It was a mistake for me to breathe easy.
The Agent came home with the kids on Thursday, sent Bug upstairs, and sat BK on the stairs.
"BK got kicked out of the after school program," The Agent said.
He was playing with scissors and pretended to stab another kid in the eye, Then, 5 minutes later, he took a sharp pencil and "slashed" a girl across the forehead.
This is not his first hands-on incident. So now, he's out of the program for the rest of the year.
Part of me blames the after school program. Aren't they watching these kids? Why does he have scissors in the first place? And he's just straight expelled from the program? There's no suspension first?
But really, it's not the school's fault. They have rules, and we have to abide by them. Sure, I'm going to the school today to plead my case, and maybe I'm even talking to principal right now as you're reading this, but I'm not hopeful that the school will reconsider.
There are ten more weeks until the summer break. This means for 10 weeks, we have to figure out what to do with BK after school. He has to get picked up and taken somewhere promptly at 3 pm.
Oh, except for Wednesday. Every Wednesday is a minimum day. I have to get him at 12:30.
The Agent thinks he can change his schedule for the next two months and work from 6 to 2:30. On Wednesdays, he will take 2 and a half hours of vacation. By the time school gets out in June, he will have used almost 4 vacation days.
And that's if he can get all of that approved. I don't know what we're going to do if he can't change his schedule. We don't have any family in town. The alternative is finding a daycare provider--a stranger-- who's willing to pick him up every day and watch him until we can pick him up at 5.
I keep trying to tell myself that it's only for two months, and we can handle anything for two months.
But let me tell you: these next two months are not going to be pleasant.
Now, to think of a punishment. The Agent wants to take him off the baseball team (which we have already paid for and received the uniform for-- the first game is Saturday). The Agent's argument is that baseball id the only thing that gives him a lot of pleasure right now. My argument is that a sports team tends to encourage good behavior. Also, since he's only 5 and he's already the best kid on the team, and won't fall too far behind when the season starts next year.
I don't know. I agree he should be punished, and there isn't much else that would have much effect if we took it away.... what do you think?
We've been round and round with things like this with our 10 year old son. Personally I think you're right with your hesitation as using baseball as part of his consequence. The two things aren't linked and being on that team is going to do so much good for him. Teamwork, respect for coaches, building up self esteem, etc. We've never taken sports or similar things as a consequence. Now if he had been hitting kids while he plays baseball, etc. that would be different. Not the story here. Anyway, the real issue is the amount of inconvenience you and your husband are having due to BK's behavior. THAT's where his consequence needs to come in. Don't reward him when he gets home, he should be in that darn after school program. You as his parents are being put out. And having to use vacation days. Maybe explain that that is lost time from work, I've even done the lost pay thing when my kids have made me late for work in the morning. I've had them do chores to work off the pay I'm missing. So maybe when he gets home instead of making things sunshine and rainbows for him he needs to do some type of chore. Or he needs to do something nice for you and your husband since it's the two of you being put out. He needs to understand his actions have affected you. Because truly, you are the ONLY people being affected negatively here. He was naughty and gets to chill at home now. If I was him I'd think that was pretty sweet! Baseball has no link and it's unlikely he would get the connection. All of this is simply my rambling two cents after years of dealing with very similar issues. Fingers crossed you enjoy some baseball this weekend.
ReplyDeleteAt his age, I think that playing a sport is more than just playing a sport. Not only is he getting physical activity, he is learning valuable life lessons such as socialization with other kids. I don't think that punishing him by taking away baseball is a good idea. That would be a more appropriate punishment for an older child/teen.
ReplyDeleteIs there something else that he enjoys like say playing a favourite app on the ipad or watching a favourite program on TV?