Wednesday, March 25, 2015

It's not ok

On Friday, Bug had a play date scheduled, so I went on my lunch break to pick up  Bug from the church day camp, since it's spring break and the kids don't have school. The kids were all outside eating lunch when I got there, so Bug saw me right away. She was excited to leave, so she yelled to her camp counselor that she was leaving.

"No, you can't leave," the counselor, who happened to be a man, said.

"No, really, my mom's here," Bug said, pointing to me.

"Oh, ok," the counselor joked, "I guess you can leave then." Then he came around from behind Bug, and wrapped his arms around her. "I just love you so much, I don't want to let you go!" he said as he kissed the top of her head.

Like this (link)

Hmmph. That's strange.

"Bug, who was that man?" I asked once we were in the car and driving away.

"That's coach Dwayne," she answered. "He really likes me. He kisses me all the time."

Holy crap.

"OK, well, I'm going to talk to Daddy about that," I said. "But do you hear me? I will talk to Daddy. Let me do it." I had a feeling The Agent was going to go ballistic over this.

"Why? What's the big deal?" Bug asked.



"It's not a big deal," I answered. "Just let me talk to Daddy about it, OK?"

I dropped Bug off at her play date and then went back to work. But actually working was out of the question. I told  a couple of my girlfriends about what happened. "That's weird, right? That's not normal, is it?"

My girlfriends all agreed that Dwayne's behavior was definitely unacceptable.

"So, I should talk to someone about it, right? Even though it's the church and they're all rainbows and unicorns over there?"

"That's WHY you need to say something now," my girlfriend urged. "Those child molesters they show on the news are always in churches and schools. And he's going to say, 'oh, it was no big deal, I did it right in front of the mom and she was ok with it.' And then it's going to be on YOU."

Oh, Lord, no.

So, I had to call The Agent and talked to him. He had two questions: How often is "all the time," and has this guy  kissed her anywhere else besides the top of her head?

I didn't know, and she was on a play date.

"Well, call her and find out," The Agent said. "And Lovely... if you find out that he kissed her anywhere else, you call me right away."

Crap. I started cry. This can't be happening.

I composed myself, and then called Bug at her friend's house.

"Hey, Baby," I said. "You know that guy that likes you? How many times has he kissed you?"

"I don't know, maybe two other times? He wasn't there last summer, this was the first week he's been there."

"And has it ever been anywhere else besides your forehead?"

"Eww, gross! He doesn't kiss my forehead, he kisses the top of my head. It's like he's kissing my hair."



"OK, but has he always kissed the top of your head, or has there been other places?"

"No, just there.... Are you freaking out, Mom?"

"No, I was just asking."

"It sounds like you're freaking out."

"I just want you to know that if something ever happened, if someone ever does something, you can tell me, OK? I love you."

"Sure, Mom.... PS, you're on speaker phone."

Wonderful.

I called The Agent back and told him what Bug had said, and his mind was eased somewhat, but we were still at a loss as to what to do. I wanted to call and talk to the children's director, The Agent wanted to go in a speak to her face to face. I agreed that face to face was better, but I was worried that The Agent would lose his temper and end up in jail. I also needed time to find a new day camp, since there was still a week left of Spring break, and there's also  the summer to think about.

What would you do in this situation? Find out what we did on Friday!










Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

6 comments:

  1. There was a huge incident at my church over this sort of thing. I would ask if they have "safe guidelines" or something like that. You have a right to ask someone not to touch your child. I occasionally teach RE (religious education) at my church and I would never kiss a child on the head or initiate a hug. A pat on the arm or back is okay, I think, but not what you described.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, I was talking to The Agent about the same thing. He is one of the coaches on BK's T-ball team, and he makes it a point to limit the touching. He doesn't want anyone to have any kind of misconception!

      Delete
  2. I would say that was inappropriate behavior for the counselor. I think you should definitely let the church's children's director know about it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think it's wonderful that a guy can show his feelings, likes working with kids, gives them a male role model. That being said, No, it's not okay. Say something... now. I think I would approach him first and let him know you don't think it's appropriate for him to kiss your kid on the head or anywhere else, and "love" is a very strong word for a little one to hear and might misread his intentions. If you aren't satisfied with the response you get, go to his supervisor. Really, I think you need to. You can't be too careful, and I work with kids, and I would NEVER do that! Ever! It's just highly inappropriate whether he is just a touchy/feeling type or the other touchy/feely type if you know what I mean. Just not right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I feel so good that I made the right decision!

      Delete

Thank you for your lovely comment! Make sure you link back to either your email or your blog so I can reply!