Hey ya'll.

I'm going to take a bit of a bloggy break. Maybe it will be forever, maybe not. But it's not like I was writing all that much, anyway, so we'll see how the little break goes.

What will I be doing on my time off? Reading, mostly. I have a new found love for Liane Moriarty, so I've been reading all of her books. I also want time to read all of YOUR fabulous blogs! I'm really looking forward to that!

So, I'm here, I'm still alive, and hopefully you'll see me in your comments. Talk to you soon!

13 things that are right in front of me

Ok, I need to get back in to blogging. I'm going to start out small. Forgetfulone recently posted a blog about 13 things that she could see in front of her right now. Here my list:

1. The TV. I'm watching Bachelor in Paradise on Demand right now. I wasn't going to watch it, but everyone at work was talking about it, and The Agent is out playing poker, so I decided to binge watch. It's not anything to get excited about.

2. 4 Baskets of laundry. To be fair, it's all clean laundry. It just needs to be hung up and put away. I'm waiting for a child or a husband to volunteer to help put it away. It's been there for three days now.

3. The cat. More specifically, Bug's cat. There's something wrong with this friggin' cat. He hates the world. If you try to pet him, he's flinch and cower like you're trying to beat him. But he loves Bug. He leans into her hand when she pets him, and curls  up on her lap when she's sitting on the couch. And then when Bug goes to bed, this fool cat goes to bed with her and sleeps with his head on her pillow. Nutty cat.


4. My laptop. Duh.

5. Several toys and books belonging to the short people in the house. Seriously, can't they put ANYTHING away?

6. A Weird brass flamingo. So, my stepmother's aunt died, and her mother (so, my stepgrandmother?) was given this life sized brass flamingo that was found in the house. Alice's mom put the flamingo in her living room and it worked perfectly in there, because, well, her living room was last redecorated in the mid seventies. So then we're over at their house for some holiday and The Agent fell in love with the flamingo. So what does Alice's mom do? She straight gives us the flamingo. And I'm like, "no, please, I'm sure it has sentimental value,  please don't make me keep that ugly brass bird in my house." So now Freddie Flamingo lives in our living room. And not in a corner. Straight in the middle of everything. Watching me like a creeper.

See the unfinished wood in the background? See #10.

7. The house phone. There are only three people who call me on the house phone: Mom, Dad, and BFF. I have received 3 phone calls tonight, from none of those people. Freakin' telephone solicitors. Luckily, I have caller id, so I didn't answer the phone at all, and they didn't leave messages, which is also annoying.

8. A notepad. Filled with sentences written by BK. On the 7th day of school (which was Tuesday), BK's teacher called me and asked if there was "a bathroom issue" she should know about. It seems that BK went to the bathroom during class 5 times over the last two days, even after he said he went at recess. I told the teacher there are no bathroom issues, he just wants to get out of class. Duh. So, as punishment, BK had a fill a page with "I will go to the  bathroom at recess."

9. A pizza box. Ummmm...... yeah. We had pizza two weeks ago. The Agent wanted to save it for some reason. Just call us the Hoarders.

10. The fireplace. Two years ago, almost three now, The Agent put a big hole in my living room when he ripped out my fireplace. 6 months ago, he finally put in the new fireplace and the shelving I've been asking for.... and then he stopped. It still needs to be painted and the baseboards needs to be installed.... but I haven't been complaining because at least there's not a big hole there anymore. Maybe it will be completed someday.

11. Bug's backpack. I should probably check to make sure she did all her homework...

12. My Yeti. Do you guys know about the Yeti? Oh my, I think it's it's going to make my list of my favorite things in 2016. It's basically just a steel cup that keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. In the evening I enjoy a cocktail (today it was vodka and soda), and in the morning, the ice will still be in the tumbler. My friends, this is California. It's 9 o'clock at night and it's still 82 degrees out. The ice should have become water in about 26 minutes.

13. Pretzel Crisps by Snack Factory. This is my new crack.

What's right in front of you right now?

Drama in the world

There's drama in the world.

People are shooting each other.

People are judging each other in the face of tragedy.

People are hating each other.

Why?

Why do we treat people this way?

I'm not saying we have to love everyone, or even like everyone.

But when did we start to think so little of the human soul that it became easier to destroy one than to tolerate one?

It makes me sad to think about the future.

My neighbors are all carrying guns.

Politicians are screaming for gun control.

I don't know what the right answer is.

I just want to live in a world where I don't have to worry that my children might be shot while walking to the park.

May results and June goals

Another month down and I still don't have a lot to say, but that's ok!

*Lose three more pounds. Finally, a good month for weight loss! May 1: 241.1. June 1: 238.0. Whoo hoo! I've been working hard on the Lovely Diet Plan (which is essentially logging everything I eat and calorie counting).

*Create our summer bucket list. Done! The kids love creating this list every Summer. You can read about this year's list here.

*Create a You Tube Video for Bug. I still didn't get to this, and Bug hasn't been asking. Out of sight, out of mind.

*Go on a date without the kids. We went out not once, but twice! First we went to my girlfriend's 40 birthday party, and then the very next night, we went out to dinner with the other parents from BK's baseball team. A bit of a bummer that it wasn't spread out a little more, but at least we got out of the house!

And I also read two more books in May, making the total 23 for the year:

The Swan House by Elizabeth Musser

find it here 

This book was only ok to me, which is probably why it took almost the entire month to read it. It was about a young rich debutante named Mary Swan,  growing up in Atlanta in the 1960's. When her mother dies tragically, her housekeeper takes Mary Swan with her to volunteer at a soup kitchen on the other side of town. While there, Mary Swan questions everything about her society and the life she's always known.

So this was a book that's supposed to make you think and question the way people do things. It was about discrimination and segregation and the differences between the rich and the poor.  Not my cup of tea. I'd rather have a good love story.... so I was particularly annoyed when the book ended and we don't know if Mary Swan ended up with the guy (there is a sequel that answers this question, but I will not be reading it. You can read it and tell me what happens).

Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes by Denise Grover Swank

find it here

I got this book because it was free, but what a cute story! This girl has always been a plain Jane outcast, but she's special because she can have visions of future events, but that makes you kind of creepy in a small town in Arkansas. So she's an outcast, but then one day she sees her own murder in a vision. She knows she's about to die, so she starts to really live for the first time in her life.

This book was the first in a series, and I liked it enough that I've already read the next three books so far in June! There's like 8 books in the series, so I'll have plenty of reading material this Summer!


Now, we're on to June!

* Lose 5 More Pounds. I'm on a roll, let's keep it up!

* Have a birthday party for BK. BK turns 7 in June. He already blew it, and can't have a party with all his friends (I guess I better write about that at some point). But he's still having a birthday, so he'll still have a party with the family, and I'll make it cute and fun. And bonus: I saved about $400 by not having it at the laser tag place like we were planning! #silverlining

* Build a relationship with the boss. I have a new boss, who just started on May 31st. I've only met him a couple of times, but my position works very closely with him, so June will be spent getting to know each other, how we tick, all that.

* Teach BK how to swim. We didn't join the swim team this year. Bug was at the point that she needed to start getting competitive, and she just wasn't feeling it. We decided to just stick to the HOA pool, so we could all enjoy it, and I could spend some one on one time with BK to get him to learn to swim. I'm not sure that we'll be able to accomplish this in June, but it's definitely one of our goals for the summer.

Happy Summer!

53 Days of Summer Fun

Who's glad it's almost summer vacation???

Sadly, Summer isn't that big of a deal here. I still work, The Agent still works, so the kids go to day camp during the summer. They like that they don't have to worry about school, but they still have to get up and get ready every morning, so that's a bummer. Certainly different from the Summer vacations I had growing up. So the trick is finding the fun in our every day lives.

Every Summer for the past few years, we've created a Summer fun list-- a list of fun, attainable things to do, one for each day of Summer vacation.  Last year's list is here  and 2014's is here. We have 53 days of Summer vacation this year, so this year we will have 53 fun things on our list. The kids help create the list, I ask The Agent what he wants to do, and I add a few things of my own.

Here's our list this year:

I'm sure we won't get to EVERYTHING on this list (we never do), but they're all possible. Like there's no "Go to Greece on vacation" or "Climb Mt Everest." The list is printed out and on the refrigerator, so the kids can cross off what we've done so far, and they can decide what they want to do next. It makes the Summer break a little more fun, and it gives us family time together.

I will be posting pics of everything we do on Instagram, so feel free to follow along! And I want to see what fun things you're doing this Summer, too!

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree

When I was in the 5th grade, my mother volunteered at the school on a weekly basis. For Mother's Day, my teacher gave my mom a box of See's candy, as a thank you for volunteering.

On the same day, my girl scout troop made muffins for our moms for Mother's Day. I walked home from school that evening, with both the candy and the muffins in my backpack.

Except the See's candy didn't make it home. I ate it. Yes, the whole box. Don't judge! See's candy is about the best thing in the world.

I hid the empty box in my backpack and gave the muffins to my mother. "These are from Mrs. Hart, because you volunteer in the class," I told my mother. I'm sure my logic was that if  I was going to eat my teacher's present, the least I could do is let her take credit for my muffins.

So, I ate the candy, my parents ate the muffins, and they never knew about the candy. All was well.

Until Monday morning.

My mother gave me a sealed envelope and said, "Here. Give this to Mrs. Hart."

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a thank you note for those delicious muffins," my mother answered.

Oh, Crap. Not to mention, I'm sure that they were definitely NOT delicious, since they were made by a bunch of 10 and 11 year old girls.

But I couldn't give the note to Mrs. Hart, not when I didn't know what it said. So as I was walking to school, I carefully opened the letter.

Dear Mrs. Hart, 
Thank you for the lovely muffins. They were delicious. They were the perfect addition to our Mother's Day brunch..... 

Oh, no. Mrs. Hart could never see that.  The card went down the sewer drain.

It wasn't until several weeks later that it occurred to me that I never found a way to thank Mrs. Hart for the candy on behalf of my mother. I knew I couldn't pass off a note in my own writing, so I never said anything. Better to just have the teacher think my mother was rude.

I was reminded of this story when I was going through Bug's backpack last week and saw that Bug had been practicing to write my signature.

"Ummm, Bug? What is this? Why are you writing my signature?"

Without missing a beat, Bug replied, "Your signature is so pretty, I wanted to try it."

Lies. You can't play a player, my friend!

April results and May Goals

Can you believe it's already May? April flew by! Here were my goals for April: 

* File taxes. Done. And the money is already spent.

* Write a short story.  I started one, a great idea about an embryologist who couldn't get pregnant herself. But it never really went anywhere, and it sits unfinished.

* Help Bug make a You Tube video. We never got around to doing this, but Bug still wants to have a kids cooking channel.

* Lose three pounds. April 1: 242.3. May 1: 241.1. A loss of 1.2 pounds. Pitiful. But I guess it's better than a gain!

And although this wasn't a goal, but I read three more books this month, making  21 all together. Here are the books I read:

The Good Neighbor by AJ Banner:

buy it here

This was a pretty good book. The main character lost her closest friends and her own home in a fire, and now she's questioning if her whole life is lie, including her marriage to her husband. It was a page turner.


When I'm Gone by Emily Bleeker:

buy it here

I liked Wreckage so much, that I decided to read When I'm Gone. This one was also really good. It started out much like PS, I Love You-- the main character's wife dies, and she leaves him several letters that she has delivered to him from beyond the grave. But while PS, I Love You is a romantic tear jerker from beginning to end, When I'm Gone is a mystery, and he questions the secrets his wife kept while she was alive. Another excellent book.

Making Faces by Amy Harmon:

buy it here

 One of my readers recommended this book to me, and I'm so glad. I would consider this a Young Adult novel. It's about inner beauty, and sometimes beautiful faces can be just as beautiful on the inside, and you can be a beautiful person without the perfect outer shell. This was my favorite book of the month, but all three were really good!

Now, on to May!

*Lose three more pounds. I think I might have to give up alcohol in order to accomplish this. It makes me very sad.

*Create our summer bucket list. The kids look forward to this every year! Last year's list is here  and 2014's is here. We have 52 days of Summer vacation this year, so this year we will have 52  fun things on our list.

*Create a You Tube Video for Bug. I didn't get to this in April, so let's try it again in May!

*Go on a date without the kids. I need a night out in a major way! Who would like to watch my kids?

It's been a month, so here's an update

A sweet reader asked if I  was still alive, and reminded me that it had been damn near a month since I last wrote.

I am still alive.

I am suffering from a major case of writers block.


The weeks are spiraling out of control. I look at my calendar and I see that May is booked solid, but   June looks better and July is almost completely blank. I tell myself that if I can just get through these next couple of weeks, things will calm down. Of course, by the time that happens, more commitments will come up.

Let me give a bit of a update in each area of my life:

BK

We are eating, breathing, and sleeping baseball right now. He went up a level this year, which means my commitment level has grown exponentially. There are games twice a week, plus practices.  He is the youngest player on the team, so he'll be growing with these boys for the next  years. Right now he plays either outfield or second base. He's not the best player on the team by any means, but he loves the game, and that's the important thing.

Game Day Vibes!

BK still gets into quite a bit of trouble. He can not seem to keep his body to himself. He gets mad at someone and kicks them-- that's a call to me. He thinks he's being funny and kisses someone-- that's a call to me. He pretends that he's a ninja with the other boys and they all karate chop each other-- that's a call to me. The Agent says he's just being a boy, but I'm ready to change my phone number. His birthday is next month and he wants to have his party at a laser tag place. I told him one more hands on event and he won't get a party. Let's see if that works-- it's only been three days, but so far, so good!

Bug

Bug is a little diva right now. She turned 20 last month, and she thinks she's all that and a bag chips. basketball season is over, and she didn't want to be on the swim team year, so her only extra curricular activity right now is girl scouts. She's friendly with all the girls, but I wouldn't say she's developed any major friendships yet. PoorBug struggles a bit socially. She'll go three months not caring what anyone thinks, and then have a breakdown, crying that she doesn't have any friends. It was twin day at last week. She didn't make any effort to coordinate a twin outfit with anyone, and went to school that day in her normal uniform. After school, she was upset that every person in the class had a twin except  her, and then had the nerve to get mad at me because I didn't arrange an outfit with anyone. Hey, it's not problem! She needed to figure it out for herself!

We went to the snow this month. Yes, we're in t-shirts. That's how we roll in Cali

At the same time, when someone does seem to want to be her friend, she's not interested. Bug and the rest of her troop was swimming at someone's house on Friday night, and the mom called me to see if Bug would like to spend the night. Sure, that would be wonderful! But when I got Bug on the phone to tell her, she said she didn't want to stay the night, and asked me to pick her up. When arrived, Bug begged to stay the night after all. It turned out that another girl had also been invited, and although Bug didn't want to just sleep over with the hostess, the event became a lot more interesting when another girl was involved! I told Bug that you don't accept an invitation based on who else will there, she asked me to pick her up, I did, we're leaving.

She cried all the way home, and went straight to her room and went to bed without saying a word. Little diva.

When she's not being melodramatic, Bug likes to bake or play on her computer.

The Agent

The Agent is good. My fireplace is still not complete, but there's no longer a hole in my living room, so I'm not complaining anymore, which explains why my fireplace isn't done yet. He goes golfing every Thursday and plays poker whenever I let him out of the house (maybe two or three times a month). He's been begging me to go camping, now that the weather is nice. I suppose I'm going to have to do that a couple of times this summer.

Work

Work is good. I still have a job and I'm still pretty good at it. I'm still learning and there's still a few things I'm struggling with, but I'm chugging along. I am without a boss now, and I'm still waiting for the announcement on who that will be, but for now I'm doing pretty well without someone above me to tell me otherwise!

Me

I have not miraculously lost 50 pounds. For now, that's ok.

What have you been up to this month?

March results and April goals

March is in the books! How did it turn out for you?

End Basketball and start baseball. Success! Bug had a great finish. She wasn't the best on the team, but she made serious improvement from the beginning of the season. I told her at the beginning of the season that I  only ask that she try each game, and she did! She put in great effort every game.

Now we're eating, breathing, and sleeping baseball. BK is kind of awesome, and went up a level this year. He's the youngest player on the team, but he's holding his own! He scored two runs on his first game, and we ended up winning 9 to 3. Go Yankees!

Lose 5 more pounds. March 1st: 238.9. March 31st: 242.3. Yikes! Too many Cadbury eggs!

Read 3 more books. Nailed it again! I read 6 more books in March, putting me at 18 all together for the year:

Legend by Marie Lu.

buy it here

This book was on my kindle for over a year before I actually started reading it this month. When I purchased it, I thought it was the book that became the movie with the same name starring Will Smith. It's not. Still, it was was moderately entertaining. It's the first book in a series, I probably won't purchase another the next book.



Royal Date by Sariah Wilson

buy it here 

I think this one was free. It was a predictable,  cute little romance, with the typical misunderstandings that couples must go through before they live happily ever after. This was a stand alone book (I think) but there are other books that will follow the stories of some of the other characters. I may or may not be purchasing the other books. To be determined.


The Tumor by John Grisham.

buy it here 

This is not a real book, so I hesitate to even bring it up. It was described as a non legal thriller. Ok, I'm game. But really it's about ultrasound technology, and how it's going to revolutionize cancer treatment in the future, and he's financially endorsing the practice. It's basically an advertisement for the product. Well written, but not really my cup of tea.

The Revenant by Michael Punke.

buy it here

The Agent read this book and seemed to like it, and we hadn't seen the movie yet, so I decided to give it a shot. It was pretty good. It's about a man who was attacked by a bear and was left in the wilderness to die by his comrades. The book is more about the victim's quest for revenge from the men who left him to die. This was probably the most intellectual book I've read this year.... which is probably also why it took me two weeks to read when I can usually get through a book in two days.

Close to Home by Megan Nugen Isabell

buy it here

You might remember that I read the first 5 books of this series in January. When I found out that there was a 6th book, I picked it up right away. This was an easy beach read, as entertaining as the previous ones, but I have to say I was more than a little annoyed with some of the choices the main character made. Greedy girl! I will be buying the next book in the series.... when it comes out. I hope it doesn't take too long-- I have a terrible memory, and if I can't remember what happened in the first book, I probably won't be buying the next one.


Wreckage by Emily Bleeker

buy it here

This is probably my favorite book of the year so far. It's about two people who survive a plane crash, and live for two years on a deserted island before they are rescued. It's about their feelings before, during, and after their time on the island. There are a lot of flashbacks, but it's still easy to follow. I felt for the main characters' dilemma, but I was annoyed that there was one plot hole that I needed more info on. Still, I would recommend this one! 



Donate 4 bags of "stuff." Done, and then some! I meant to take a picture and then I forgot, like the big goof I am. But we ended up donating 4 bags of clothes, a bag of tupperware, a box of old toys, and a guitar. 

Go to the library. Score! It was a little sad that I had to schedule time to fit this in, but at least we got it done!

Have an awesome Spring Break! I had a week off with the babies for spring break, and The Agent had to go to Chicago for work, so it was just the three of us for most of the week. We packed in as much fun as we could! We decorated Easter eggs, toured the Jelly Belly factory, went to the library, and went hiking along the Cosumnes River. Good times!

Now, here's what's in store for April:

* File taxes. I can't believe we haven't done this yet.

* Write a short story. My writing has really taken a back seat lately, but I have an idea that is playing around in my head.

* Help Bug make a You Tube video. Bug has serious love for Rosanna Pansino, who hosts Nerdy Nummies on You Tube. Even I got a little star struck when she "liked"  my Instagram photo of one of the creations Bug made from her cookbook. Now Bug has it in her head that she wants to start her own web series, so I told her I would help her with it.

* Lose three pounds. Time to get serious now. Summer is almost here and The Agent is going to expect me to walk around in shorts. But since I haven't been able to lose 5 pounds, I better start off a little smaller and only try to lose three.

That's it! Make it a great month!

How I'm becoming happier by not caring

I've been trying to write a post about my mother for the last two days, but that's just not happening. So sorry, guess I won't be linking up with Let's Talk this month.

I've been thinking about who I am lately. I want to be the girl who doesn't care what anyone thinks. I'm not that girl, not by a long shot. Always in the back of my head, I'm thinking two thoughts: Please don't be mad at me. Please love me.

But I am making progress. I am learning what makes me happy, and what I don't have time to dwell on. I think I realized this when I tried to start writing about my mother. And I didn't really have anything to say.

I haven't spoken to her since Christmas. She didn't even send a card for Bug's birthday.  And I don't care, because it took trying to write a blog post about her to even realize that she wasn't calling me, and I wasn't calling her.

I don't wish her ill, so I hope she's ok. I just don't have time to worry about it. I wish we had a better relationship, but we don't.

I'm also starting to not care what anyone thinks about my parenting skills (or lack thereof). I'm a yeller. I get it. I have tried not to yell, I have told the children that I don't want to yell, but there are sometimes moments when I feel like they are not hearing me unless I raise my voice. I wish they listened the first time, but that doesn't always happen.  So you might hear me yell. Don't like it? Maybe you should take them for the afternoon and tell me what the secret is. Have fun.

I will say that I am a much better parent when I'm only with one of them. A neighbor caught me walking through Target as I was in a deep conversation with BK about the best Pokemon cards. I felt like mom of the year. It's the little things.

And I'm finally starting to not care about what people think of me at work. This is a hard one, because I have to see these people every day. And it's also hard, because some of those people think they're still in high school, and they'll friend or defriend you at the drop of a hat. But then I starting thinking, how awkward is it for these same people to decide that they need something from me after all and try to friend me again? I think it's kind of funny when I get a friend request, and I know we were friends last month, because I saw the photos of your parakeet that you insist on posting every 20 minutes (FYI-- we're at work. You sit 20 feet away from me. You are not with the damn bird right now, so stop posting pictures, acting like you're feeding him a treat right now).

And by the way, I might have friended you again, but I'm still in charge of the vacation calendar and you still can't have Christmas off, so I guess I'll be unfriended again next week.

So, those are the three things that I'm trying not to care about, at least not this week. What do you not care about?

Why I'm shopping for a new dentist

Ugh. I have dental issues.

I've been toying with the idea of getting braces for awhile now. I've always had relatively straight teeth, but then after I got pregnant, something funky happened. Now one of my front teeth pokes way out compared to other one. My son is constantly telling me that I have a loose tooth (I guess he thinks it's about to fall out???). Please don't take a close up picture of my smile.

So, I went to the dentist and said I wanted braces. They said they would be happy to take my money, but I needed to go to the periodontist first. I have bad gums, and it would be silly to spend a thousand dollars on straight teeth when they're going fall out of my bad gum head anyway.

So, I made an appointment with the periodontist. But then, I was eating a breakfast burrito, of all things, and I broke a tooth. Son of a--! So, I had to go to the dentist for a consult, and they recommended a crown. They said I could come in a month later, on the same same day as my periodontist appointment, and I could do everything all at once. My out of pocket would be $269.  Ugh. More than I care to give the dentist, but it couldn't be helped. And I was happy that I could do everything all at once.

link

A month went by. Then dentist called me yesterday, to confirm my appointment today. "I'll be there," I said. "What's my out of pocket again?"

The answer: $950.

Excuse me? That's total, right? Not my out of pocket?

Nope. My share was $950. And I have really good insurance.

I told the person on the phone that I was told the amount would be less than $300, is there a mistake?

No mistake. Please pay $950 at the door.

It's highway robbery to expect me to pay $950 on a tooth that you can't see and doesn't hurt. I cancelled the appointment for the crown and said that I would just go to the periodontist appointment.

"No, we cancelled that appointment so we could get your crown in. We have you listed on call in case there was time in his schedule, but he's booked pretty solid."

More yelling on my part, but there wasn't anything that could be done. I asked for the next available appointment with the periodontist.

July.

link

I told them they've lost their minds and hung up.

But at least I don't have to take a Xanax today.