My Thoughts on 50 Shades

I feel compelled to write about my 50 Shades Experience.

Yes, I read the books. Yes, I watched the movie. No, I am not ashamed.

True, I had a different experience than most, having the advantage of watching the movie during a private screening. I am under no illusions that this is Oscar winning material. And I certainly would not want to watch the movie in the same room as my mother. Still, I was thoroughly entertained.

I was surprised about the negative reviews that I read online this weekend. Not because the writing or acting was bad-- I rather expected that. But I was baffled over the pure outrage that the movie inspired. Women claimed to have walked out of the theater in tears. People proclaiming that this is glorified  domestic violence at its finest. Women all over my Facebook feed were begging everyone to boycott the movie, saying that "the violence is unbearable."

Huh?

Were we watching the same movie?

This is the movie I saw: There's a guy that has love and commitment issues, due to the unfortunate events of his past. As a result, he feels that the only way he can be intimate with a woman is if he is the dominant. He meets a girl who is a virgin-- both literally, and to the BDSM lifestyle-- and he thinks he can add her to the list of his many conquests. Except, oops! He falls in love with her.

It's not about control. At no point does Christian have control over Ana. Ana is the one with all the control. She says how far to go. She says when she's had enough. And he respects that.

Look, I'm not saying I'm down for a dominant/submissive lifestyle. But I didn't think it was violent at all. Yes, he straps her up. With her permission. And I'm no judge, but she seems to like it quite a bit.

And the one point that it does get too violent (he whips her 6 times-- not hard enough to break the skin, but definitely hard enough to bring tears), she leaves him right away.

(at which point the movie fades to black and I was laughing and BFF was screaming at the movie screen: "no no no NO!")

I don't know, maybe I'm the naive one. But I saw a movie about two consenting adults, maybe experimenting with a darker side of sex than others would enjoy or even know about, but trying to find their place in each other's hearts.

I've been in an abusive relationship before. This wasn't it.