Q and A, Part One

Here's a few getting to know you questions and answers.... 

1. Who is your hero?
This week, my hero is my Daddy.

2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

A private beach.... especially if there's good shopping near by! 

3. What is your biggest fear?

Death. It's been really bothering me the last couple of years. 

4. What is your favorite family vacation?
As a child, it was a trip we took to Disneyland and then The Grand Canyon. As a mom, so far it's been.... well, I guess Disneyland. But even that wasn't that great because BK wasn't there. We're going to Legoland in October.... maybe that will be my favorite family vacation!

5. What would you change about yourself if you could?

I wish I felt better about myself. 

6. What really makes you angry?
When my children don't listen to me.
7. What motivates you to work hard?
I'm a sucker for recognition. If I'm going to get praised in front of other people, I'm going to give 110%. 

8. What is your favorite thing about your career?
The people I work with are awesome!
9. What is your biggest complaint about your job?
That I have to work!
10. What is your proudest accomplishment?
Giving birth

11. What is your child's proudest accomplishment?
Well, you'd have to ask them.... But Bug is an excellent reader and a great sculptor. BK is a mathematician and an awesome baseball catcher. 

12. What is your favorite book to read?
I don't re-read books, so my favorite book to read is what I'm currently reading. Right now, that would be The Husband's Secret. 

13. What makes you laugh the most?
The Agent. He's pretty dang funny. 

14. What was the last movie you went to? What did you think?
The Agent and I recently saw Trainwreck with Amy Schumer. A lot of crude humor, but it was entertaining. 

15. What did you want to be when you were small?
Most of the time, I wanted to be a teacher. 

16. What does your child want to be when he/she grows up?
Bug wants to be a baker. BK wants to be a fireman. 

17. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?
I really just want to rest.... spend all day on the beach in a lounge chair with a book. 

18. What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play?
I don't do sports. I guess my favorite sport to play is beach volleyball. My favorite sport to watch is baseball.... if BK is playing. 

19. Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?
Drive a car. 

20. What would you sing at Karaoke night?
My go to song is Cherish by Madonna! 

The best I'll ever get

It's always the same. 
He says he'll change,
That he's SO sorry,
That it was a mistake, and he'll never do it again.
How many times does history have to repeat itself
Before I wake up I finally figure it out? 
If I was smarter, I'd show him to the door.
But how can I walk away when he's the best I'll ever get? 
That's what he said years ago: "I am the best you will ever get." 
And I believed him. 
Is it true? 
I'll never find out. 

A good Day

So. I told you that I applied for a promotion within my  company.

I don't know how many people applied for the job, but 11 people made it to the final interview.

I was one of them. And I bombed out.

When I got called into the boss's office today, I knew I was going to be let down easily.

But I didn't.

I am the new compliance manager in the office. That means I'm going to throw a shoe at you  if you write a check wrong or forget to write a letter or whatever.

I was completely flabbergasted when she told me I got the job. "Did you know all along that it was going to be you?"

Ummm.... no. No I did not.

I told her how I didn't think I was going to get the job because I didn't think my interview went well, and she gave me what I now I think of as a lollipop moment (If you've never heard of this, check out Drew Dudley's TED talk on Lollipop Moments).

"You could have completely bombed out on the interview and you still would have gotten the job," she said. "What people don't realize is that you're interviewing every single day. I would never make a decision based on a single interview. I look at what you do every single day."

So, I still have some issues, with depression or anxiety or whatever. But today was a good day.

The worse interview ever... and how you can learn from me

Last week, I applied for a new job. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision-- my boss implied that I had it in the bag, so I applied. 

My interview was on Friday, and it was made abundantly clear that I probably would NOT be getting the job. I didn't like how the interview went at all. I had gone in feeling prepared, but I wasn't prepared for THESE questions. Learn from me, my friends! Hopefully, you'll be better prepared.

In a nutshell, this is what the hiring manager wanted: 

1. Keep it relative to the job you're applying for. 

2. Keep it current. 

3. Be very specific in the examples you give. 

There were only four questions: 

1. Tell me about a time when you had to coach someone and it didn't go well. Tell me what you did to turn it around. 

I really bombed out on this one. I am not a manager, so I don't coach people. I tried to keep my answer positive, using examples of how I was a mentor  to my team. I said, "I don't want to say I coached them, because that's a negative term," and I was immediately interrupted. 

"It's a negative question," the hiring manager answered. "I want specific examples, with names." 

Ugh. It's like that? So, instead of saying how wonderful I am, you just want me to tell you how other people suck? 

So, I did. I sold my soul to the devil and threw one of my coworkers under the bus. the hiring manager seemed happy afterwards, but I was miserable. 

That kind of set the tone for the rest of the interview. 

2. Tell me about a time when you had a conflict with another coworker, and what did you do to resolve it. 

This was more of the same. I don't have conflicts with people, at least not work related. I told a story about a conflict two coworkers were having with other (not with me), and one of the coworkers came to me to try to get resolution.

"Who was it? What was the conflict?" the hiring manager asked. 

I told her. More bus driving on my part. 

3. Tell me what you would do to encourage and inspire your team when they're faced with a challenge. 

This question at least I could get excited about, since I could put a positive spin on it. I told the story of a coworker that needed to give a presentation, and was terribly nervous about speaking in front of others. I encouraged her and told her I would be standing right there with her, and if it got too difficult for her, she could just give me a look and I would take over. I was proud of the job she had done, and I had no problem mentioning her name to the hiring manager. 

4. Customer Service is very important in our business. Tell us about your plans to increase customer service. 

This is another question I did ok on. I knew that customer service was the hiring manager's hot button, so I was prepared. But since I had already learned that she wanted me to name names, I talked about other coworkers who were poor performers, and how I wanted to whip them into shape. Not the direction I wanted to go at all.

Then there were a few standard questions: How are you at computer programs? If you're given a deadline, will you meet the deadline on time? Where did you get your degree? Normal stuff like that. Those went ok. 

I won't know for another week if I actually got the job, but I'm not going to hold my breath. At least I applied and I was willing to put myself out there! Hopefully I'll come up with better stories next time! 

Sad

I'm sad.

I'm not suicidal. I'm not even at a debilitating level of sadness. I can still function in life. I'm just... sad.

I'm sad because school is starting on Monday, and kids really didn't get to do anything that fun.
I'm sad because I have no close girlfriends.
I'm sad because even when one of my girlfriends did call me and wanted to hang out, I lied and said I had other plans.
I'm sad because I have absolutely no hope of getting the promotion I want.
I'm sad because I chose to lay on the couch all evening instead of interacting with the babies.
I'm sad because I can't share this with anyone I know in real life.
I'm sad because I need to lose 50 pounds.
I'm sad because the house is a mess.
I'm sad because everyone I know thinks I'm always happy, always the jokester.

I understand that these problems are really no different from what every other person has to face. And if these are the worse of my problems, my life is pretty good.

But that doesn't change how I feel.





ie

4 Reasons Why I'm Sad and Grumpy

This started out as my weekend update, but then things went askew...

I don't know if you've noticed this, but I've had a case of the blahs lately. Not blogging much, and not saying a whole lot even when I do blog. I am grumpy and lazy and sad. So here follows the pity party.

On Friday, I applied for a new job. It's still with the same company, but it's a completely different position than what I do now. The salary would be the same as what I make now, but the ceiling is a lot higher, and it's a stepping stones for other management positions in the future. I felt pretty good about my chances, until I applied. Then my boss told me that another girl applied, someone who kind of already has experience in the position. I have a few things in my favor (I'm a college graduate and she's not, and for some reason, she started crying in the middle of the last interview she had???), but I don't think those differences really put me over the edge. If I was the hiring manager, I would probably hire experience over education. No interviews yet, but I'm no longer confident that I will get the job (not to mention that the last person who had this job utterly failed at it, so what makes me think I can do any better?)

Dang... I thought I had it

On Saturday, one of my close girlfriends, who happens to be The Agent's cousin, turned 40. I had asked her several weeks ago if she wanted to plan a GNO. She said she would have to think about it, and she'd let me know. Then her husband called me last week, and said they wanted to do a couples getaway in Tahoe. Ummm..... you want me to try to find someone to watch my kids for the whole weekend with only 5 days notice? Not going to happen! I could go, but The Agent would have to stay home. Then her husband suggested we go to Sacramento for the night, go out to dinner and then to a comedy club. That was more doable, but the two babysitters we use were both busy on Saturday. So, again I said that I could go, but The Agent would have to stay home. And you know what? HER HUSBAND SAID HE WANTED IT TO BE COUPLES ONLY. I was so hurt and mad. So, because my husband can't go (or didn't want to go), it makes me less of a friend? What if I was single? I wouldn't have been invited? The Agent said not to waste my time worrying about it, but it made me think that she clearly doesn't consider me a good friend.  And that made me think of my relationships with my other friends.... I don't really have any close friends. It's clearly because I'm a mean, horrible, bitchy person.

But no worries, I have my husband and kids. Except my husband was pouting on Saturday because I wasn't feeling like the sex kitten he wanted me to be. Why is he even with me? I'm not nice, I complain to him all the time, and I don't put out as much as he wants me to. Oh, is it because I'm SUCH a good mom? Not likely. My son is a habitual liar and my daughter is turning in to the neurotic basket case than I am. Good times for all.

So, all in all, not the most wonderful weekend. I feel like I'm sucking with my job, my friends, my husband, and my kids.

Why I Drink

A conversation I overheard between Bug and BK....

Bug: Here, have a bite of my mango.

BK: Ugh! It tastes like poop!

Bug: How do you even know what poop tastes like?

BK: Remember when you tricked me and said it was chocolate?

Bug: Oh, yeah. That was gross.

Maybe they knew I was listening. Or maybe they're the two nastiest kids ever.