The Nose Knows

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So, I was laying on the floor in the living room last week, chilling with the kids while The Agent was making dinner in the kitchen. BK was sitting next to me, Bug was snuggled up on my other side. Suddenly and without warning, BK leaned forward and then threw himself backwards. He often does this back of the head WWF slam onto beds or pillows.

He apparently thought my head was a pillow. The back of his head landed square on my nose. It hurt so bad. I was instantly dizzy and I needed to rest in a major way. I closed my eyes and blocked out the world.

The Agent heard the crack from the kitchen and came running. “Babe, sit up,” The Agent said urgently. “Sit up! You’re going to choke!”

(Choke? What is he talking about? I just need to rest.)

The Agent pulled me up to a sitting position, and I was pretty sure I was going to pass out. Blood was gushing from my nose. BK was crying, 100 miles away. “Check on the baby,” I gurgled through the blood had been going down my throat.

And then I lost a minute. I suddenly found myself in the bathroom, leaning over the sink. Blood was still streaming steadily out my nose. The Agent was next to me, holding BK and trying to get me to put a bag of ice of my nose. Somewhere else in the house, Bug was freaking out. “I don’t want to hear her cry! I don’t want to hear her cry!”


(Am I crying?)

“I think I’m ok,” I said. “I just need to lie down.”

Babe, I think we need to go to the hospital,” The Agent said. “I’m pretty sure he broke your nose.”

Ugh. That would suck. I do not want my nose to look like Owen Wilson’s.

You’ll be happy to know that I don’t have a broken nose. At least, I don’t think so. I showed The Agent that I was able to touch my nose without passing out, and we didn’t go to the hospital. My nose still hurts, but I think I will survive.

BK was totally fine. He started crying because Bug was crying, and Bug was crying because she saw all the blood and freaked out. The Agent, however, was not so fortunate.

“Are you sure your nose isn’t broken? It looks huge! It’s swollen to twice the size of a normal nose…. Nah, I guess that’s just how your nose looks on a daily basis.”

He still hasn’t woken up from the coma.